When mummy decided to write about your delivery

Dear son,

It was so wonderful to have u in my womb for the past 36 weeks but on 23rd Jan 2010 at 11am, u were born in this challenging world without giving us an early notice ....

it was a hectic Saturday morning where your aunties n uncle from Johor Bahru came for a stay and daddy had to send them to Putrajaya @ 7am, Ayah Tok had a class @9am, your Aunty Lynn had an extra class and only Mak Tok was available but what about the guests at home?

the historical moment between me and you begins when that wonderful night, Daddy went out for futsal *as usual* with some friends at 12am.. I couldn't sleep and felt so uncomfortable that night... i was carrying a bundle of love and it was not easy... it was joy for every face i knew..

i bore the uneasy and uncomfortable feelings in my sleep for almost every day..... Daddy helped me a lot by massaging me before I sleep but with you in my womb, i have to be strong. i have to let the fear fade as seeing you grow bigger and bigger every day makes me proud... i love you even more!!

i fell asleep early but woke up every hour *due to pregnancy syndrome and toilet frequency*
but that historical night, I woke up at 3am to go to the toilet but this time, its different..

i rushed for toilet. after i washed clean somehow there was some liquid flow through my leg. i thought it must be vaginal discharge *terms use in pregnancy* so i washed again. but when I wore my pants, the liquid was still coming out and I decided to wear an absorbent pad and after changing it within half an hour and the liquid stop running and luckily Daddy was already home. I explained everything to Daddy and he said 'Esok pagi kita pergi check doktor' and I said 'Okay' and we went back to bed...

i couldn't sleep..

so, i read a book about pregnancy by Dr. Miriam bought by your daddy and it was written there that it might be a false alarm and to be ready within 2 weeks time, you might be delivering your baby.

at 4am, i felt a soft contraction and it comes and goes for every 10 minutes *honestly i don't know how contraction feels like ~this 'contraction' is indescribable

'is this what Dr. Miriam said as a false alarm?' and 'is this what i will bare for another 2 weeks?' i'm panicking but I'm trying to control it as what i learned during antenatal class at UMMC 2 weeks before. listening to your Daddy's music.. i know he's tired so i decided to wait and see *while i bare the pain* it comes and goes, the soft contraction...

this time onwards, Mummy totally cannot sleep. i stand, sit, bend, lay down but the pain doesn't relieve..

this pain makes me feel sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not easy n uncomfortable!!!!!!!!!
at 6am, mummy decided to take a shower. a very-long-hot shower. i shampooed my hair pretending like the pain is not there.

now it came at every 5 minutes son..

at 6.45am daddy woke up and prepared himself to send uncle to Putrajaya. i said 'Yang, cakap kat Mak I tak sihat la.. i nak duduk kat bilik je' he asked me whether I'm okay or not and surely mummy said 'i'm okay' but the pain............ arrghhhhhhhhhh........

daddy didn't know that. i just said 'i rasa sakit perut' "contraction ke" 'how the hell do i know what contraction is like hubs? this is my first time' and after he went out, tears is all over my face.

i was crying in silent, tears is everywhere...

its painful son.

i cannot stand this but what can I do??

i don't know what else to do except pressing my face on the pillow and crying and hold my tummy and cry and stand and cry and sit and lay down and..........

Dear GOD, tolonglah hambamu ini dan permudahkanlah segalanya.. amiin...

after few minutes, Mak Tok came to check on me but by the time she came in, Mummy was crying... i guess she panicked too and asked me

'Ain, are you okay?' i just nodded and 'You okay tak ni?' i nodded unsurely.. 'Ain rasa sakit perut' n 'contraction ke?' *by the time Mummy wrote this, I burst into a big laugh *because I don't know how contraction feels like!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Mak Tok said 'Ni awal sangat lagi ni.. you nak gi doctor?' i said yes. but Mak Tok managed to call Dr Silay *who was supposed to be my gynea at UMSC* and after the conversation with Dr, Mak Tok pack some stuff for me and wait for your daddy..

*Mummy feels that my respond to everyone is like i'm-not-in-pain-and-i-can-wait-for-another-1ohours-like-this-without-telling-everyone-but-i-actually-cannot-stand-the-pain*

i just don't want everyone to panic at the situation. so i try to calm n relax...

around 8.30am, i REALLY felt like excreting i went to toilet for 2-3 times but nope.. nothing happen when i lastly said to an Aunt 'I really felt like excreting but it didn't come out' n i smiles..

'tu bukan nak buang air.. tu dah nak bersalin' OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by that time mummy dah rasa panic. where is your daddy???

at almost 9am daddy reached home and we sped to UMSC.

*in the car I was like ... it's really painful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

once we reached UMSC, Dr. Silay checked and said

she already 5cm dilated. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

son, is this the time for you to meet your mummy and daddy??

Dr. Silay said we have a problem here where all rooms at UMSC is occupied.

what????????????? where am i going to deliver my baby??

after few calls made by Dr, mummy was sent to UMMC and straight to labour room

in labour room, a doctor came and checked me and said 'you dah boleh push' a few nurses and midwife taught me on how to push and breath and push and oh no!!!!!!!!!! the contraction is coming!!!!!!!!!!

they said "PUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!

i tried to push but nothing happened. PUSH!!!!!!!!.. fuhhh.. i really don't know how and i don't have enough breath to give one big push.

when the contraction come. 'ok Nuraini' PUSHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

I felt that my life was at risk but I chose to deliver you to this world. Nothing else mattered at the time but bringing you to the world that God has created beautifully.

it is funny when you almost came out, i was very tired and relaxed. but then you changed your mind and went back in. it happened 2 times. "Nuraini, tak elok lama sangat camni, kita takut baby lemas"

when i heard lemas mummy terus decide its about life, its your life the doctor was talking about and i gathered all my strength to give one-big-push and that's it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


hot and slippery thing came out from down there and i saw you and you cried!!!!!!!!!!!

i stood the pain from 3am and at 11am, you finally came out son.. it's you that i really wanted to see....

'Dr placed you on top of me *with all the blood* and you were still crying and alhamdulillah..

May you one day, when you can read and understand this feeling, always remember me and this most historical event that had ever happened to your mummy, who feeds you with her breast milk as your first food and loves you and able to do anything for you son.




Be a good son, good caliph and loves your parents as we are still alive because rising you up is everything to mummy and daddy.






I love so much,
Mummy